Expressions of Love

Around ten years ago, I had the honor of speaking and teaching at Kids Labs in Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a beautifully decorated space, full of street-inspired art. Above is a picture of me standing in front of a work of art that the kids created. It was a beautiful spray painting of the word “Amore,” which means “love” in Italian.

Ah, the power of love! And what a splendid power it is. When you can stand in love -in unconditional, nonjudgemental love- or in a place I call divine love, you can overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Love is the greatest power on the planet. Some people think that hate or bigotry are the biggest powers, but that’s untrue. Hate happens when love has been displaced; hate and anger happen at the loss of love or life. Hate comes from fear and ignorance, from a place of desperation and unresolved issues within.

Love truly does conquer all. Love, when used not as a weapon, but as a guiding light and support, to help you and those you love is quite possibly one of the greatest gifts that we as human beings are capable of giving or receiving. There are many different kinds of love, from romantic to platonic to familial. And while we in the English-speaking world have only one word for love, other languages have different words for these different types of love. The Ancient Greeks come to mind, as they had at least five different words for five different kinds of love.

There was “agape”, which meant affection. In Christian theology the word can also be used to describe unconditional love, or the love that we have for God and the love that God has for us. Some see it as the highest and greatest form of love and compassion, and it aligns with my understanding of divine love as I explained earlier in this post.

There was “eros”, a love filled with passion, and the ancestor of the modern-day English word ‘erotic’. Though it could mean an intense physical desire, it was not entirely X-rated, as some took it to mean an appreciation of physical beauty or even an appreciation that transcended physical beauty. Then there were those who saw it as dangerous, as the loss of reason and the root of obsession. This idea was common among more recent spiritual thinkers, such as C.S. Lewis.

There was “philia”, an affection between individuals or groups. It is virtuous, it is built upon equality. It is the love felt between friends, between families, and between communities. The City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, comes from this word, as does almost every other type of deep love or appreciation for something. A pluviophile? Someone who loves the rain. Philosophy? The love of wisdom.

There was “storge”, which usually meant the inherent and innate love that a parent feels for their children, but it can also refer to the love between siblings or other close family members. It was a protective love rooted in our kinship. Other times it was used to refer to enthusiasm, support, allegiance, or patriotism.

There was “philautia”, or the love of self. The Ancient Greeks recognized two different subcategories of this type of love. There was the negative form of philautia which we would associate with conceit, narcissism, or selfishness. The positive form of philautia could be used in reference to one’s happiness. It acknowledged the love of self as a necessity by further encompassing self-esteem and what we would in the modern age call self-care into its definition. Some philosophers of this time believed that our capacity to love others was dependent on how well we could love ourselves. As Aristotle put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself”. While this is certainly debatable, as there are those who struggle to love themselves yet still feel deep love for another person or group of people, one could make the argument that it is applicable to the idea that we struggle to accept love if we believe we do not deserve it. And struggling to accept the love that we deserve can make it harder for us to give our love to those who are deserving of it, those who treat us with respect and with whom we maintain healthy relationships.

Now keep in mind that is just one language. There are hundreds of thousands of languages across the world, as well as countless expressions of love, from the verbal expressions to the artistic expressions.

What is your favorite way to express your deep love for the people in your life?