Always Wanted to Be Someone
Our world is rife with artificially enhanced and exaggerated role models, mixed messages of right and wrong, and what we should do to become like them. It is no great surprise that children today are struggling more than ever.
Not a day goes by where their supposed โrole modelsโ engage in morally reprehensible and ethically void behaviors. Whatโs worse, they often get away with it, with little to no observable consequences. In fact, sometimes they are even rewarded or hailed for such behaviors.
Then we have a classic case of โDo as I say, not as I doโ. Children consistently witness or even fall victim to a double standard of behaviors created by the very people instructing them on correct action and the right thing to do. Itโs not an uncommon occurrence for these โinstructorsโ to not follow their own advice.
How can a child measure themselves as valuable or worthy when they are constantly barraged by unachievable and artificially created standards and goals? Their lack of self-worth is validated when we, as adults, do not hold the culprits accountable. This becomes worse when we allow our institutions to break our childrenโs spirits by setting them up to fail or punish them for things that are beyond their control.
These places of frustration, feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, and mixed messages are what lead to everything from bullying, lashing out, self-abuse, hopelessness, and giving up.
What can we do?
We need to love these children for who they are.
We need to teach them that they are somebody.
We need to instill in them a sense of self and pride about that self.
As their guides, supporters, and protectors, we need to fight for their right to be that unique person. To celebrate and support not only who they are, but how they experience the world, how they love, how they learn, and how they become who they were meant to be from the moment they entered this world.
We need to fight for their right to be different. We need to teach them how to celebrate themselves, how to grow, and work with their differences. We can empower children to fight against the pressure to โcookie cutterโ themselves into being something theyโre not.
Do they need to function in the world?
Absolutely.
Should the world also be changing to support these new children and their ways of being?
Absolutely.
Everyone wants to be someone, and our job is to make our children and the people who interact with them realize that the best someone they can be is their true selves.
That, in and of itself, is enough.